On 9 December 2021 I committed to post regularly on all activities in relation to my art work. It’s almost 9 months since I made this commitment and I have posted 12 times in that period. When I said ‘regularly’ my intention was that I would post several times a week. Maybe even once a day!
I’m not beating myself up. 12 posts is better than none and I’m grateful for that. However, it is a very common experience for me to make a commitment and then not keep to it. This is especially true for commitments that I make to myself rather than to other people. When I make commitments to my business clients, I always keep them. I don’t prioritise commitments to myself in the same way.
And here is the problem……I suffer from procrastination!
I have been looking into the causes of my procrastination for a little while now and I have been slowing working towards finding a way of working in more efficient ways. I definitely have some combination of OCD and an attention deficit thing going on. I have learned that I am what is known as neurodivergent.
The term neurotypical suggests that there is a ‘normal’ way to be. I don’t consider myself to be abnormal. And I don’t think that labels are always useful. That said, without worrying about precise labels, I identify with many of the symptoms that would be considered neurodivergent. There are two main implications of this in terms of applying my creativity in a productive and efficient manner. The first is that some of these symptoms are major obstacles to my ability to complete tasks where other people have not given me deadlines. The second is that some of these symptoms feel like they give me superpowers when I am productive. In other words, for me, being neurodivergent is not a curse. It comes with disadvantages and advantages. But one thing I know for certain is that, if I could press a button to be ‘neurotypical’, I would not press it. I am 100% certain of this. My best creative work comes from my quirkiness and I love that.
In the face of obstacles to productivity, my neurodivergence can be very painful. Thus, I need to pay constant attention to my wellbeing and I have several tools that work for me. It’s far from perfect but learning how to accept and work with imperfection is a big part of my journey.
Activating and engaging with my creativity is one of the critical tools that helps in maintaining my wellbeing. Ironically, when I am facing procrastination in relation to my creative projects, I am not taking the medicine that I need to be productive and efficient! This may seem completely irrational but I need to accept that sometimes I am unable to do the thing that I need to do. Sometimes, I really want to do the thing I need to do but I am still unable to do it. That’s just the way it is.
It is a fact that I have not kept to my commitment in relation to sharing my art work as well as the process of making my art. But, as I said earlier, I am not beating myself up. I know that I have been doing my best. However, I need to keep trying and, therefore, this post marks a renewed commitment to post regularly on all aspects of my art work. I am utilising every tool in my arsenal to maximise the chance of this happening. And perhaps I will use this blog to further reflect on my journey in dealing with procrastination in my creative process.
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